A Nigerian young man, identified as John Walker has taken to social media to sarcastically lecture the ladies on how to become a runs girl on social media.
“Start your handles with names like Pweedy, Wf, Olori, Se xy, King, Hawt, Barbie, Posh, Berry, HRH etc; Another thing! Never use traditional names, always go by foreign names such as Cassandra, Daniella, Pamela, Corrolla, Rubella, Dickella, Pussella; Don’t ask what they mean, I don’t know & you shouldn’t bother either, just use them as your colleagues do!
As your job demands, post demi-semi nud es, semi-nu des or even n udes & “circula” them. Then sit back, relax and bask in the euphoria of likes, comments & praises, please remember how extremely busy & tush you are to respond to compliments. Twe rking & sedu ctive videos help a lot!!!
Elegance is key! From different exotic cars to expensive hotels, luxurious beds & bathrooms (avoid repetition), exquisite clubs, bars, lounges & restaurants guarantee you respect & prestige. Also, you cannot afford to be seen in local places on your SM locations, it must be Lekki, Ikoyi, VGC, Chevron & environ.
Always type “lyk dis n d@” when chatting, afterall you don’t need to engage/be engaged in non profitable discussions so good grammar is unecessary; your industry is a direct-to-transaction anyway so you don’t need to know how to read or spell. Fake accent, diction, intonation & gesticulation are added advantages.
Use phones more expensive than your annual home rent, fix hairstyles more expensive than your father’s annual salary, your make-up kit is higher than your school fees. These & other characteristics differentiate you from low class girls and will make them envy you! Don’t worry, Glo with pride & rule your world!
Lastly, when you hit it big, do the following. Be a celebrity & in the news always, motivate others on how you started from nothing to something, any relationship problem must be attributed to domestic violence, be spiritual, endeavour to write long epistles on SM, remind your fans how broke & common they are, embrace feminism, be philanthropic. Rant about “haters” and their “poor mentality”.
P.S IF you have joint issues with sarcasm & comprehension #ComeAndBeatMe #InMyOshodiOffice .”
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